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Miscarriage & Me // An Update: 2

Could not have picked cards that were more appropriate // YES MUM ORIGINAL Pack

I thought another ‘update’ was due from me & my miscarriage journey as quite a few things have happened since my last post >> Miscarriage & Me // An Update, (posted on 14th September). I’m sharing my experience because:-

1) It’s been cathartic for me to write everything down and actually go over what’s happened, as some days are a bit of a blur – especially with all that hospital jargon.
2) The only way to learn is from others’ sharing their own experiences – I had absolutely no idea how common Miscarriage was/is. It’s only through sharing that I now know so much more and understand so much more. It’s also been of great support for me (and I’m told by others – which has overwhelmed me like you’d never know). By allowing people in and allowing them to also share in their journey has kept me going.
3) Charities such as Tommy’s rely on people sharing their own story, to aid their crucial research into Pregnancy Loss.

This could be lengthy as I get up to date – but as I say, typing it out helps me to move along and have a bit of a ‘brain dump’, as it were.

Oh those ‘Quiet Room’ paintings again…

19th September
Re-scan // Broomfield Early Pregnancy Unit
The re-scan was done in EPU this time. Despite bleeding lightly, pretty constantly, since 27th August, I was quite shocked to hear that my scan was looking no different to the scan I’d had two weeks previous (the 12 week scan).

As the empty sac still measured at just 7 weeks, and by dates, I was now 14 weeks, the midwives advised that we need to now take some further action as it looks like my body (ridiculously cruelly) still thinks it’s pregnant and that sac ain’t shiftin’.

We were then lead to that dreaded ‘Quiet Room’ once again; where Midwife, Amelia, came to discuss my options once again. There was absolutely no pressure, but she did remind me that as things weren’t ticking over naturally and had been stationary for longer than expected – therefore leaving me open to potential infection. Ugh.

We talked things through – I was then booked in for ‘Medical Management’ Part One for Friday 22nd September; followed by Part Two on Sunday 24th September.

(Here is some explanation on Medical Management of Miscarriage – including some of that lovely hospital jargon, simplified. Scroll on to continue with my ‘story’).

What is Medical Management of Miscarriage?

“You may choose to have medication to remove the tissue if you don’t want to wait. This involves taking tablets that cause the cervix to open, allowing the tissue to pass out.

In most cases, you’ll be offered tablets called pessaries that are inserted directly into your vagina, where they dissolve. However, tablets that you swallow may be available if you prefer. A medication called Mifepristone is sometimes used first, followed 48 hours later by a medication called Misoprostol.

The effects of Misoprostol tablets usually begin within a few hours. You’ll experience symptoms similar to a heavy period, such as cramping and heavy vaginal bleeding. You may also experience vaginal bleeding for up to three weeks.

In most units, you’ll be sent home for the miscarriage to complete. This is safe, but ring your hospital if the bleeding becomes very heavy.

You should be advised to take a home pregnancy test three weeks after taking this medication. If the pregnancy test shows you’re still pregnant, you may need to have further tests to make sure you don’t have a molar pregnancy or an ectopic pregnancy.

You may be advised to contact your healthcare professional to discuss your options if bleeding hasn’t started within 24 hours of taking the medication.”

– Information taken from NHS Guidelines for Medical Management of Miscarriage // Treatment.

What happens?

Medical management involves a single visit to the hospital. During this time, you will have pessaries (tablets) inserted inside your vagina, or you may be given the tablets orally if you are having vaginal bleeding.  These work by making your womb contract and push out the pregnancy tissue.  You may need more than one treatment with pessaries or oral tablets before the miscarriage happens.  You may choose to stay in the hospital or go home following the administration of medication.  If you prefer you may take the tablets home and take them yourself at home.  Bleeding may continue for up to 3 weeks after treatment.

Does it hurt?

Once the miscarriage starts, most women have quite strong period-like pain and cramps and some find the process very painful, especially as the pregnancy tissue is expelled.  This is because the womb is contracting and pushing (imagine tightly clenching and then relaxing your fist a few times) rather like the contractions of labour.  You are also likely to have heavy bleeding and pass blood clots.  You may see the pregnancy sac and it may be larger than you expect.  You might see an intact fetus, which may look like a tiny baby, especially if you are miscarrying after 10 weeks.  You may take Paracetamol or Co-codamol for pain relief, but you should not take Aspirin or Ibuprofen as they may make the treatment less effective.

Some women react to the medication with nausea and/or diarrhoea.

Are there any risks?

The risk of infection after medical management is low, at around 1 in 100.  Signs of infection are a raised temperature and flu-like symptoms, a vaginal discharge that looks or smells offensive and/or abdominal pain that gets worse rather than better. Treatment is with antibiotics.  In some cases you may be advised to have an ERPC.  You will probably also be advised to use pads rather than tampons for the bleeding and not to have sexual intercourse until the bleeding has stopped.

There is a small risk of haemorrhage; a recent study reported that 1 in 100 women had bleeding severe enough to need a blood transfusion.  If you have very heavy bleeding or severe pain and/or feel unwell, or if you just find it hard to manage, you may ring your Early Pregnancy Unit for advice, 111 or 999 if necessary.

Medical management is effective in approximately 80 to 90% of cases.  Where it is not, women may be advised to have surgical management – an ERPC.

What are the benefits of medical management?

The main benefit is in avoiding an operation and general anaesthetic.  Some women prefer to be fully aware of the process of miscarriage and may want to see the pregnancy tissue and perhaps the foetus.  Some women feel this helps them say goodbye.

Some women see medical management as a more natural process rather than having an operation, but more manageable than waiting for nature to take its course.  It may be helpful to know that if the treatment doesn’t work, you may be able to opt for ERPC.

Disadvantages?

Some women find the process painful and frightening, though good information about what to expect can help.  Some women are anxious as to how they might cope with the pain and bleeding, especially if they are not in hospital at the time.  Some fear seeing the fetus.  Bleeding can continue for up to three weeks after the treatment and women may have to have several follow-up scans to monitor progress.  This can be upsetting.  Some women will end up having an ERPC as well as medical treatment.

– Information taken from NHS Guidelines for Medical Management of Miscarriage // Obstetrics & Gynaecology Department

I was given the usual consent forms ahead of being  handed the Mifepristone along with anti-sickness tablets. I then had an hour to rest and had the typical stat’s taken before/after. All was fine and I was sent home. I had no pain, no nausea and more importantly, no bleeding in the 48 hours ahead of Part Two.

Although I was willing for SOMETHING to happen, nothing did. We went for lunch with my parents (who had visited for the weekend); and we even had a child-free trip to the CINEMA! (FINALLY saw Dunkirk, which is just the most incredible slice of cinema I’ve seen, ever, I think). The distractions didn’t offer up anything.

So we went back to the hospital bright and early on Sunday morning. I was mega nervous. I had a nervous tummy, sweaty palms and little-to-no conversation in me.

Sunday 24th September
Gosfield Ward – Early Pregnancy Unit – Broomfield Hospital
The ward was pretty silent when we arrived at just before 10am. Eerily so. No sooner had we arrived before I was changing into a hospital gown and laid on the bed in my private room. I was given more information about the procedure and had my stats taken. After the birth of Eli, I was admitted to hospital for a week  to treat  near-death early-caught-Sepsis. The experience left me with ‘White Coat Syndrome‘ – of which I have to explain to EVERY caregiver who has the joy of taking my blood pressure – “White coat hypertension, more commonly known as white coat syndrome, is a phenomenon in which patients exhibit a blood pressure level above the normal range, in a clinical setting, though they don’t exhibit it in other settings. It is believed that the phenomenon is due to anxiety that those afflicted experience during a clinic visit”. I have to say, I do feel for these poor individuals – I’m not the easiest patient to deal with!

By 11am I had ordered my lunch (from a pretty extensive and surprisingly appetising hospital menu!) and was awaiting the doctor to come with my medication to kick-start the ‘induction’, so to speak. I weirdly felt quite relaxed… I think it felt like there was finally light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe I was riding on nerves and adrenaline/anticipation.

The pessaries were inserted (all 4). Yes it was uncomfortable – and slightly painful – but it takes just a few minutes. So its completely bearable. I would then have to lay flat for an hour – hour & half.  Within 10 minutes the bleeding started. It suddenly became very, very heavy. We called for a Nurse (Lucy), who got me up out of bed and took me into my  private en-suite.

I was then given the ‘pan’ of which I would need to collect all tissue – which would then be taken for assessment. I’m sure all will agree that dignity is something very foreign when enduring anything child-baring related. This wonderful Midwife sorted me out at my most vulnerable – in the most caring and gentle way. She made no fuss and made me feel at ease; whilst giving me a ‘wet wipe’ bath to remove the blood stains from my legs and back. Sorry if this is a totally grim read – but I want to be honest. There’s no shame in any of this – and sadly, it’s just the way it is. This is the process. I won’t go into the whole NHS funding/Nurses wages thing – but my god, these wonderful, wonderful humans – they deserve the world. The things they must see, on a daily basis. I can’t even comprehend. What incredibly skilled and insanely caring people. Unbelievable. #SAVETHENHS

I spent my time back and forth from the bed to the en-suite for the next hour, when we managed to get the bleeding under some control and I could rest on the bed with maternity pads/bed pads. My lunch arrived – and I was ravenous. James went to the Hospital M&S to grab himself some lunch and for a bit of a breather too, I imagine. It’s all pretty gruesome and definitely something he’s coped with exceptionally well considering he was once very squeamish (he may well be squeamish still, not sure how you can’t be looking at what we went through this weekend – but he did a bloody marvellous job of comforting and supporting me throughout).  The Chilli I ate for my lunch was beautiful – really hit the spot and cheered my mood right up – as did the Harry Styles album I had streaming.

The afternoon was again spent back and forth from the bed to the en-suite (I couldn’t just stay in the en-suite, I wanted to be on the bed and cosy) with Nurses coming and going – checking my progress – checking the tissues I’d expelled and the bleeding – but not overstaying, which gave us some well needed privacy that I really valued.

By 3pm I was in need of painkillers. The cramps were getting really painful – not unbearable, but I didn’t want them to get to a point where I was in need of severe pain management. So the Midwife (Pankaja) nipped the pain in the bud with 2 paracetamol and liquid morphine.

Not long after, I was given the menu for tea – even though I’d anticipated I’d be home by now. So I reluctantly I ordered Chicken Tikka & Rice and a Rice Pudding. Yep three meals with RICE, in one day –  YOLO.  I’ve got to praise this hospital food – seriously! It was super tasty, a great portion size, hot and not in the slightest bit sloppy, soggy or plasticky – which is what I’d encountered previously. My body definitely appreciated the good food too.

By 5pm, I was given a pretty painful internal. Which even the painkillers couldn’t fend off. A huge light was brought in on wheels along with the paraphernalia you’d normally see when having a Smear Test…and/or having your waters broken. The doctors agreed that the bleeding would continue and were satisfied with my progress thus far – my Cervix was open – so that was a good position to be in. Though, they were not convinced that the sac had passed and began discussing the repeat procedure of the pessaries – which would mean an overnight stay. While the staff debated my situation, Eli arrived with my parents. They were going home that evening. Thankfully the bleeding was nigh on stopping and the pain had eased. So he just saw his Mama in her “really pretty” hospital gown – and my god, I was so happy to see him and we had the BEST cuddles. His affection made me forget about it all – made me zone out – for just a few moments. (He also said I looked pretty in my hospital ‘dress’. There’s a first!)

By 7pm, the Registrar had decided against an overnight stay and repeat procedure – I’d had too much medication for one day. Therefore, I’d be discharged with a letter, antibiotics and a repeat scan for 2nd October. So I have until the 2nd to finish expelling whatever is left.

I was discharged at around 8:30. I was shattered and it was a surreal journey home – it felt like 4am or something. I then slept. Slept and slept and slept. Never have I ever slept so much. I even SLEPT THROUGH on Sunday night, something I’ve not managed since well before Eli arrived. So that was weird too.

Since then – and up until today, Wednesday 27th – I’ve had little/no bleeding once again. Though I’ve had the odd cramp, back pain and baaaaaaad head. So once again, I’m in limbo. Has it all expelled? Is it over? Is it stuck?! Has the sac come away? Has my cervix closed up again?! Am I anaemic with all this blood loss? Is that why I’m so damn tired? Guess I’ll just have to wait it out until 2nd October when I get scanned again. (I’m also eating allll the kale, cavolo nero and spinach I can muster to get my iron on the up, incase!). If there are still some bits of tissue remaining/the sac still clinging on, then it will be off to surgery for me – for the dreaded Surgical Management (ERPC or ERPoC, which stands for Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception. You might hear it called it a D & C too) which is under anaesthetic.

Because we’re British and Tea makes everything OK again.

 

One thing I would say is though – Men/Partners do tend to get ‘ignored’ slightly during processes like this. I know I’m going through it harder – physically – but mentally, we’ve both lost out. We both desperately wanted that baby and we’ve both had the pregnancy loss. Both had the miscarriage.

Throughout the 30+ hours of labour with Eli, James was offered a cup of tea just ONCE. I was offered dozens of cups, despite being nil by mouth. The same happened again during this process – I was offered loads of tea/coffee. James wasn’t ever offered either – it was Sunday and the coffee shops closed early. So I really felt for him – he was going through it too – and yes, tea generally does solve a lot of things! If nothing else, it warms you up from the inside and gives you something to zone off with, even for just a few minutes. So perhaps it could be worth taking a flask of tea in – or whatever beverages/snacks you both need – should you be reading this ahead of venturing through this procedure too.

So there we are, thats where I’m up to now.

As before – it’s good to talk about things. So please do keep getting in touch and sharing your experiences. It’s the only way we’ll learn.

All my love,
C
✖️✖️✖️

 

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TIBA + MARL x Mama’s & Papa’s // Season Two

Tiba + Marl x Mamas & Papas Season Two has landed!

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I’m not currently looking for a new pram… yet. But the second collaboration between my Mum-Boss favourites, TIBA + MARL and high-street lovelies, Mama’s & Papa’s is pretty damn epic.

First of all though, I’m going to go straight to the new Miller backpacks that have also launched for this collaboration. The Miller design now comes in the bespoke navy leopard print and  in a stunning luxe metallic pewter finish – and also returning is the covetable black faux leather Miller too.

Pewter
Click to shop // Pewter
Leopard
Click to shop // Navy Leopard

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stylish and practical, the MILLER is the ideal choice and leaves your hands free for a busy day out-and-about. Injecting effortless style in striking pewter, this backpack is large enough to fit most laptops and doubles up perfectly as a work bag, gym bag or carry-on bag.

I absolutely love both of these ^ As always, both back packs are completely unisex (can be used waaaaaaay after the baby & toddler years!) and come with the following features:

– Luxury padded changing mat
– Insulated bottle holder
– Internal laptop pocket
– Smart phone pocket
– Large exterior pocket
– 2 additional external side pockets
– Removable wet clutch / cross body bag
– Grab top handle
– Padded lower back panel
– Chunky metal zips with double pullers for easy access
– Metal feet
– Adjustable padded shoulder straps
– Wipe clean exterior and lining

Click to Shop // Urbo² Tiba + Marl pushchair 

Mamas + Papas’ award winning Urbo² pushchair is also given the T+M treatment, in signature navy Leopard print with a striking pewter chassis.  I literally can’t cope with how cool and pretty and cool this pushchair is. It’s just beautiful. Striking AND unisex. The pushchair itself can be used from birth, though a carrycot is also available in this design too. So what features does this beauty hold?

PUSHCHAIR // DETAILS
– The lie-flat position supports natural, healthy sleep.
– Compatible with car seats and carrycots for a full travel system.
– Reversible seat so baby can face you or the world.
– A compact frame with light, effortless steering.
– An easily adjustable handle you can adapt to suit your grip.
– The sunshade and insect net keep baby protected.
– The magnetic peek-a-boo window makes it easy, and quiet, to check on baby.

Age Suitability: Birth – 15kg/33lb
Dimensions: H: 104 x W: 54 x L: 86cm Approx.
Folded Size: H: 49 x W: 54 x D: 85cm Approx.
Weight: 9kg Approx.

Urbo² Carrycot
Click to Shop // Urbo² Tiba + Marl Carry Cot

Comfy, protective and bursting with style, our Urbo² carrycot is just what you need for those early months. And now you can stand out in style thanks to our latest collaboration with Tiba + Marl.

Showcasing a navy edition of their iconic leopard print, the canvas fabric is enhanced by the quilted hood lining and striking pewter and leatherette detailing.

CARRY COT // DETAILS
– The lie-flat position supports natural, healthy sleep.
– The magnetic apron tucks baby away quickly and quietly.
– The hood’s optional air vent keeps the cot cool and comfortable.
– The cushioned mattress offers even more comfort for naps on the go.
– The UPF 50+ fabric protects them from harmful rays.

Age Suitability: Birth – 9kg/20lb
Dimensions: H: 59 x W: 41 x L: 80cm Approx.
Weight 6.6kg Approx.

So not only are these super cool, design pieces; they’re practical and caring of your needs as well as your childs’. With this in mind, this collaboration does come in 4 options:

Pushchair ONLY – as above – £649

Carry cot ONLY – as above – £219

 

Click to Shop // 4 Piece Bundle

4 PIECE BUNDLE // £916.00 £799.00*

– Urbo² – Our stylish, city-living pushchair, with a striking pewter frame and luxury fabric detailing.
– Carrycot – Our recommended choice for 0-6 months, letting baby lie flat for a comfortable, natural sleep on the go.
– Adaptor – Easy to use, one-click adaptors to attach a car seat to the Urbo². Compatible with Aton, CYBEX Aton Q, Maxi-Cosi Pebble, Maxi-Cosi CabrioFix and BeSafe iZi Go infant carriers.
–  Universal Cup Holder – Perfect for keeping hands free, so you can concentrate on pushing baby and staying in control.

*You save this amount against the cost of purchasing the items together at their full individual prices.

Click to Shop // 5 Piece Bundle

5 PIECE BUNDLE // £1,091.00 £929.00*

– Urbo² – Our stylish, city-living pushchair, with a striking pewter frame and luxury fabric detailing.
– Carrycot – Our recommended choice for 0-6 months, letting baby lie flat for a comfortable, natural sleep on the go.
– Adaptor – Easy to use, one-click adaptors to attach a car seat to the Urbo². Compatible with Aton, CYBEX Aton Q, Maxi-Cosi Pebble, Maxi-Cosi CabrioFix and BeSafe iZi Go infant carriers.
–  Universal Cup Holder – Perfect for keeping hands free, so you can concentrate on pushing baby and staying in control.
– Aton Q Car Seat – A rear facing seat designed to make life easier.

*You save this amount against the cost of purchasing the items together at their full individual prices.

Click to Shop // 6 Piece Bundle

6 PIECE BUNDLE // £1,201.00 £999.00*

– Urbo² – Our stylish, city-living pushchair, with a striking pewter frame and luxury fabric detailing.
– Carrycot – Our recommended choice for 0-6 months, letting baby lie flat for a comfortable, natural sleep on the go.
– Adaptor – Easy to use, one-click adaptors to attach a car seat to the Urbo². Compatible with Aton, CYBEX Aton Q, Maxi-Cosi Pebble, Maxi-Cosi CabrioFix and BeSafe iZi Go infant carriers.
–  Universal Cup Holder – Perfect for keeping hands free, so you can concentrate on pushing baby and staying in control.
– Aton Q Car Seat – A rear facing seat designed to make life easier.
– Aton IsoFix Base- Click and go – easily attaches to your ISOFIX anchors for a secure and safe base.

*You save this amount against the cost of purchasing the items together at their full individual prices.

Additionally, you can also purchase the collaboration Footmuff, in signature navy leopard print,separately too – £89.00. This footmuff will fit most pushchairs with the 5 point safety harness fixing.

 

Click to Shop // Tiba + Marl Footmuff

COLD WEATHER PLUS FOOTMUFF // DETAILS
– Designed to fit most pushchairs and co-ordinates with the Urbo².
– The padded fleece lining keeps little one cosy and comfortable.
– Water and dirt resistant so it’s even easier to keep clean and dry.
– The four-way zipper lets you adjust the temperature to suit baby.
– Wind resistant to protect baby in colder weather.
– The multi-position harness holes allow you to re-position the footmuff as baby grows.

Age Suitability: Birth – 15kg
Dimensions: H: 100 x W: 52 x D: 18cm Approx.
Care & Maintenance: Machine wash at 40°.

So! There you go. What a collaboration! I don’t think these pieces will be around long – so get shopping! (I’ll be adding everything to The Shop shortly).I’m sure you’ll agree that this is a stunning design and beautiful pram that has been made in quality materials for longevity. Contemporary.  Effortlessly cool.  Practical. And just perfect for modern parents. We love you TIBA + MARL ♥️

Also, just want to say a massive CONGRATULATIONS to Anna & Lydia (TIBA + MARL  founders) for their incredible launch. Everything they’ve achieved is simply down to their dedication and ridiculous hard work. VERY proud of you both right now!

C
✖️✖️✖️

 

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LONDON FASHION WEEK // TOPSHOP SS18

Journalist Harriet Verney has her place in the fashion industry firmly fixed. This London Fashion Week,  TOPSHOP have enlisted her to bring you insider insight from the backstage area and beyond. Follow @TOPSHOP on Instagram to get your access-all-areas pass.

From the neon lights of Soho to the headlights beaming through the venue and the flashing cameras of on-site photographers – fashion week is always defined by all kinds of bright lights. This season, TOPSHOP are taking it one step further, so have your shades at the ready…

Ever since their very first  London Fashion Week show in 2005, TOPSHOP has casted the coolest girls in fashion. Back then it was Erin Wasson and Sasha Pivovarova, and other runway alumni throughout the years include Cara Delevingne, Karlie Kloss, Taylor Hill, Bella Hadid and most recently Adwoa Aboah. Who will it be this year?

So you gotta get ready for the new TOPSHOP London Fashion Week collection. Tune in at 4.15pm on Sunday 17th September to watch the show live and shop selected pieces straight after the runway.

The brand new TOPSHOP London Fashion Week collection is their most accessible and wearable runway edit to date.  Can’t wait to see the new collection – and its brilliant that you can add a touch of the show to your everyday wardrobe, straight away! Prices start from just £39.

C
✖️✖️✖️

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Miscarriage & Me // An update

Sharing my recent “bump” which was approx 11/12 weeks for #BumpDay in support of #MaternityHealth

————

I just wanted to give a brief update since my post last week: Miscarriage & Me. 

First off, I have to just say a big huge THANK YOU. Thank you to every single one of you who has commented or messaged or emailed or called me. I can’t tell you how grateful we are for the support and kind words. Once again, never ever underestimate the kindness of strangers. I’ve had so many messages of support for me sharing the post. For encouraging discussion. For highlighting what will/can/might/might not happen.

Miscarriage happens because of science. It’s not something you can stop from happening – I hope those who have experienced this horrendous plight know that.  Also, Miscarriage is more common than people realise. It happens to at least 1 in 4 pregnancies. Many miscarriages are unreported and some go unnoticed as it happens so soon. Experts think that the real figure might be 1 in 3*.

Miscarriage is not taboo. It is so important that we discuss this. To help others understand… to help yourself to understand. Without sharing stories, how can we learn? How can the medical professionals learn and continue their research into Pregnancy Loss? So sharing experiences, that is my biggest take away from this whole thing.

————

Just over a week on, how am I doing?

I’m going down the “Expectant Miscarriage” route with hope I have/am miscarrying naturally.

Well, I count myself as very lucky. So far, I haven’t bled anywhere near as much as I anticipated. As I touched on in my original post I have Endometriosis. So have been awaiting just the worst pain and the worst bleeding/tissue loss imaginable. I’ve had the back aches and extreme tiredness but again, nothing as bad as I’ve been expecting. I’m not sure if that’s because I’m going through a slow miscarriage – or whether its building up to some kind of cruel crescendo. I guess I’ll know more when I head back to the hospital next Tuesday for my re-scan and review.

So for now, I’m stuck in limbo. Not knowing whether its started, ended/ending or if it’s not even begun (properly). And this is the worst feeling – the not knowing. Just as bad as not knowing if you’re ok in the first place – before the bad news.

The entire pregnancy journey is basically just a whole load of anxiety and stress and endless knots in the stomach, isn’t it?

I feel like I need to do something good out of all of this. I know charities such as Tommy’s & The Miscarriage Association have a few ways to get involved. But if anyone does have any ideas that I can support, please let me know.

In the meantime, please do continue to share your stories. You can comment, message, email or bloody carrier pigeon your experiences or words to me. Always remember, sharing is caring.

All my love,
C
✖️✖️✖️

 

*Statistics taken from Tommy’s // The Baby Charity. Information on Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss >> More details, here. 

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Miscarriage & Me.

So here is a blog post that I never thought I’d be writing.

In fact, for the past 12 weeks I’ve been keeping a diary, a log, if you will, of pregnancy symptoms & the experience so far, the second time round. I was anticipating the publish of that blog post this week (I’d tied in lots of information about Pregnancy & Endometriosis). (After of course, we’d gone up North and surprised our families!).

Yes, you heard read right. I was pregnant. Kind of.  No, I was definitely pregnant. Or at least my body thought I was… and had began the fruition of our second pregnancy. I had alllllllll the symptoms: extreme fatigue, nausea, sickness & diarrhea, runny nose, cough, lightheadedness,  headaches, body aches, hot flushes, scattiness (god, the scattiness was insane), I’d gone up at least two cup sizes and had that lovely bright blue vein swooping across my left breast; just like I did with Eli. I had it all, in abundance. I was around 5/6 weeks when I finally got a positive pregnancy test result.

I’d had a big, scary, bright red bleed during our holiday last week in St. Ives. The first rule of Instagram? Don’t give the honest, real life view! Why would you ever do that?! Except, I really wanted to be honest. Believe me. To me,  honesty is the best policy, I try to be as honest and real as possible across all social media – so here is what’s happened since.

I wanted to scream about how bloody marvellous it was to be pregnant. To be sat on the this beautiful beach, with my little bump! But the reality? I was indeed sat on the beach cradling my little baby bump, but it was upon a maternity pad, and I was silently crying while my boy’s went rock-pooling. I knew deep down that a bleed of this amount was bad news. I was 11 weeks. But I had a proper full-on baby-bump. I still had some symptoms going on. I was feeling pretty good! So, I spent the majority of our little ‘break’ Googling. Oh wonderful Google…

“Can you still have a baby after a bright red  bleed?”

“Does a bright red bleed really mean miscarriage?”

“Symptoms of endometriosis during early pregnancy”

“Can endometriosis cause bleeding? 11 weeks pregnant”

“11 weeks pregnant symptoms”

“Symptoms of miscarriage”

“Baby moving or miscarriage?”

“What to expect miscarriage 11 weeks pregnant”

I read SO MANY positive outcomes across forums, blogs, in the press and via medical case studies. I’d almost convinced myself that it was fine. I was fine. The baby was fine. I’d had terrible cramps with Eli and spotting at around 6 weeks. In a lot of cases, women who experience bleeds in early pregnancy do go on to have a healthy baby. Heck, sometimes women bleed throughout the WHOLE pregnancy. Which I imagine is both frustrating and worrying in equal measure.

On Tuesday 5th September, Eli went back to school – as a big Year One boy. Super proud parents, we went from the school drop off to Broomfield Hospital for what would have been our 12 week scan. I’d felt a pang of excitement – the secrets we’d been harbouring for 12 weeks could finally come out. We could finally announce our bloody brilliant and exciting news, our darling boy was going to be a BIG BROTHER! (I’d even bought him a tee… did I jinx it?!). Doubtfully.

As we drove along that over-familiar route to Broomfield Hospital,  I was getting closer to the feeling of doubt. My stomach was in knots and I felt lightheaded and sick.I definitely knew in my heart of hearts, this wasn’t meant to be.  But that certainly does not deflect from the shock of having a Sonographer say “Are you sure your dates are correct as the sac measures 7 weeks, 1 day…. unfortunately this isn’t going to be a viable pregnancy I’m afraid”.

We’d had so much trouble with Eli during pregnancy, that anything I could do to help make this pregnancy ‘smoother’, I was doing. Including zero intimacy (hoping my Ma ain’t reading this!).  I had my last alcoholic drink (I so need to do a review of non-alcoholic drinks, because we’ve had the best time trying so many out!) and caffeinated drink on my birthday, 1st June. I’ve not eaten anything you shouldn’t. I’d been taking Pregnacare for a few weeks even before that too. My dates were beyond correct. I would have been 12 weeks and 3 days pregnant.

With tears streaming down my face, I somehow managed “the baby has gone, hasn’t it?”. She then went on to confirm that I’d suffered an Anembryonic Pregnancy and showed us my full uterus with a very obviously empty sac.  An Anembryonic Gestation (anembryonic pregnancy, blighted ovum, or empty sac) is a pregnancy in which the very early pregnancy appears normal on an ultrasound scan, but as the pregnancy progresses a visible embryo never develops or develops and is reabsorbed. How utterly batshit is that? REALLY? The cells of the embryo are “reabsorbed”. I still can’t fathom it. But I know it’s nothing that I could have possibly done or could have avoided. Medically speaking? It’s “one of those things”.

After being spoken to in the dreaded, ‘Quiet Room’, James & I were then transferred from the Antenatal Ultrasound department to an Early Pregnancy ward a few floors down. By the way, these ‘Quiet Rooms’, although decorated in a nice colour scheme and VERY clean, really do just look like 4 walls of bad news. Like, it felt like a funeral home, with a gushing waterfall print on one wall and a totally psychedelic bright mash up of randomness on the other wall. Obviously,  boxes of tissues all around for good measure.

I felt numb. Surreal. Like I was in a bubble and was crying and felt an ache in my chest…. but couldn’t quite digest words. James was speaking but it was like a blurry mumble of nothing. Likewise, when we met with Liz, the Staff Nurse on the EPU ward, she was AMAZING – and went through every step of the process. Answered questions with ease. Was very knowledgable. Incredibly sympathetic and open and supportive. But what she actually spoke about, I have no idea. It’s like I wasn’t even there. An out of body experience? Maybe.

I was given 3 options and it was emphasised that I didn’t have to make a decision straight away:

  • Expectant management – wait for the tissue to pass naturally out of your womb.
  • Medical management – take medication that causes the tissue to pass out of your womb.
  • Surgical management – have the tissue surgically removed.

As I’m particularly phobic of hospitals following my labour with Eli, if I can avoid being near one, I will do my damned best! Without  even a hint of  consideration, I wanted to be at home, in my own bed and I’m keeping my fingers crossed this will all pass naturally. I’m so far, going through the Expectant Management route. I do have a lot of tissue build up and the empty sac to pass. I have been advised to expect a lot of blood loss, tissue loss, the sac and all accompanied by proper contractions. I was given the details of all emergency contacts should I lose too much blood or be in too much pain – if that’s the case, I’ll end up on the EPU ward.

I am currently losing a small amount of blood. WAY less than a normal period, so I don’t even know if this is the start. I hope it’s the start anyway. I just want this whole thing to be over with. I think I’ll feel relief then.

I have waves of feeling completely fine. Like none of this is even happening. Happy, even. But then I notice my tummy… and its soft and squidgy again. I have the “WHY ME?” and “WHAT DID I DO WRONG” scenario’s. Then I have the feelings of what it could have been. Us Mama’s have a very easy way of getting carried away – we have excellent imaginations. Too good even. We imagine the nursery. The feeding schedules. The cuddles. The bathtime routine. The newborn smell. The ooh’s and ahhh’s. ALLLLLLL the stuff we need to buy. (I’m all over that Sleepyhead Grand btw).  Is it weird that I’m then grieving the loss of a baby… that didn’t actually exist? It’s like, the house was there, fully furnished, but there was nobody renting. I then feel all strange  – how could I even have this intense amount of grief? The baby hadn’t formed. It was cells. Cells that were absorbed. How am I this upset and feeling so devastated? I guess it’s because it took us 5 years to get to this point. A point where I felt ready. I’d dreamed so many dreams about that baba-to-be and me. And us.  And in between all this, I’m just in absolute awe of the human body – the female form. The things us women go through – its quite extraordinary. I mean, most of us can grow a baby in our tummy from nothingness (well, scientifically, no not nothingness, but you get me). And then when it doesn’t work, your body knows to expel it. It knows the drill. Just utterly bewildering and odd and funny and crazy and bloody brilliant – but also, so cruel. So although, in some ways, I feel like I’ve failed, I also know that my body is pretty epic too.

So to finish up, what has been quite a cathartic blog post, I have 2 weeks for my body to try and pass all that remains. I will have a scan on 19th September to see if the process is complete and we’ll take it from there. If it isn’t, then I guess I’ll have to have some kind of hospital management.

I want to give a shoutout to my darling James. It’s been a tough few days for him too. I know it is just as difficult a situation for a partner – I know he has felt just complete helplessness. I imagine he’s also quite scared about what can/could happen to me (he was told to monitor excess blood loss and symptoms of infection – we live 30 mins away from the hospital and in either case, he might need to call for an ambulance). I also know he is filled with sadness and grief too. This baby was tried for and very much wanted. We were both super excited. But him just being here, to hold my hand, means the world. (Thanks also, FEED family).

Have you been affected by Miscarriage? Please get in touch. I’d love to be able to speak to people now I’m able to. I just feel like I need to talk to others about their experiences and what happens and what doesn’t happen – because all I have in my mind is sheer horror. And even if it is as horrific as I’m imagining, I’m sure words of experience would be very comforting right now.

I’ve found a lot of useful practical information on The Miscarriage Association website – and also Tommy’s Baby Charity, who work tirelessly to obtain funding for the crucial research into pregnancy loss. I haven’t contacted either of them directly, yet, but just wanted to highlight their websites as theres a huge amount of information about the different types of miscarriage (I definitely didn’t know how many different types there are), also details about how to approach your work, how pregnancy loss affects your partner and a shed-load of additional research. Though, I am feeling overwhelmed with all this information, just glancing at paragraphs here and there is easy enough as and when I need to access it. I’ve also read so many stories that families affected by pregnancy loss have shared using the hashtags #SimplySay (The Miscarriage Association) and #misCOURAGE (Tommy’s).

Thank you for reading.

The Briston-Hill’s
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NEVER KNOWINGLY CONCISE CHATS TO // DONNA McCULLOCH | SULKYDOLL

Introducing Donna McCulloch, as she’s known  to most of us, SulkyDoll – Stylist, Fashion Editor Riddle Magazine and Brand Ambassador – oh and she just so happens to be a hot Mama too.

Donna and I”met” through IG and eventually IRL at a Mothers Meeting x M&S event – where we bonded over our shared love for The ‘Toon (having both studied up in Newcastle). As a stylist, she has worked with the hilarious and vibrant Scummy Mummies and cake-maker of dreams, Juliet Sear.

Donna has also played a key part in fundraising – most recently with fellow Mama’s, @That_mummy_smile and @carlymoosah for the #cuckooclubforgrenfell fundraiser, raising exceptionally needed funds for those affected by the tragic Grenfell Tower.

Sulky is one of the most hardworking, genuine, honest, caring and colourful people you could ever wish to meet.

CB: HELLO SULKS PET,  please introduce yourself and your concept.
DM: So I’m Donna aka SulkyDoll, I’m a Stylist and a Mama. My job is varied as I am a personal stylist for both Men and Women, my most famous clients are the Scummy Mummies but I also style editorials for brands and magazines, I am the Fashion Contributor for Riddle Magazine and cover London Fashion Week as their Correspondent but I also run style events and I am very proud to be a brand ambassador for Donna Ida.

SULKY DOLL // Wearing her namesake, by Tracy Gray – @undertherosejewellery

 

CB: Brand names are a really important first impression of what you’re about, so how did you come up with your name?
DM: My brand name is so unique to me, it’s my childhood nickname.

CB: Where did it all begin? What inspired you to start up your concept?
DM:  A lifelong love of fashion led me to re-train in fashion in my 30s. I worked very hard and bossed it and it paid off.

GIRL GANG // Donna with The Scummy Mummies, Cherry Healey, Antonia (@antoniaobrien) and Nat (@StyleMeSunday) at the Oxfam #dressedbythekids event.

CB: What is your brand ethos?
DM:  Be the best possible version of yourself.

CB: On a day-to-day basis, what or who inspires you?
DM: A million different things, I see inspiration everywhere, film, music, buildings, travel, friends and other fashion industry creatives whom I admire.

Red Carpet Lolz // Donna works closely with The Scummy Mummies

CB: Can you tell us about or give us a sneaky peak of something new that’s coming up?
DM: I have my first TV credit this month as one of my clients has their own to show this launches in May and I was the stylist/wardrobe for the show… I’ll keep you posted.

CB: Parenting-essentials, we know there are more than a few! But what is the one thing you can’t leave the house without? What is your most used piece of parenting/child paraphernalia?
DM: Wipes! Even now my kids are older, they are the one thing you should have on your person at all times.

CB: Anything you wished you known before becoming a parent / best piece of parenting advice?
DM: That kids do things in their own time, at their own speed, don’t push them to eat what they don’t want, potty train when they aren’t ready and sleep 7 hours when they are 7lbs!!!

CB: Along the same vein as above, what is your ultimate Mum-Essential? What is your go-to item that you just can’t live without?
DM: Bronzer, my son didn’t sleep until he was 2 and I looked like death for those 2 years but bronzer hid a lot of tiredness during those days as I faked the sun kissed look.

CB: What gives you ‘Mum-Guilt’? And how do you get round it?
DM: That’s a hard one, working when they have something like an assembly or sport’s day, I try to make as much as I can but I find it heartbreaking to miss something. I don’t have any tips other than that a happy Mama is a happy child and guilt serves no purpose whatsoever.

CB: Me-time is super important too, what do you like to do to zone-out?
DM: Running and hot baths plus Kate Bush at full volume.

The Two Donna’s // Sulky & Donna Ida (@DonnaIdaDenim

 

CB: Which are your go-to brands/shops?
DM: I love for me, Donna Ida, Rixo, Zara and H&M, and the last 2 are fab for the kids and my husband too.

CB: What current wardrobe item is your all-time favourite and why?
DM: My bf jeans as they are so easy to dress up or down.

CB: Choose 3 words to describe yesterday.
DM: Manic, sunny and coffee fuelled.

CB: Tell us something about you that might surprise people.
DM: Erm… I love horses and my earliest memory is of me on my Aunt’s horse, Seamus.

FOR GRENFELL // Carly, Donna & Laura worked together on the #cuckooforgrenfell event.

CB: Whats the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?
DM: Wow, good q, I have been very lucky to have met many people who have championed me and given me wings….too many to reduce to one.

CB: Recommend a book, film or album from the past year.
DM: Lion is one of the best films I’ve ever seen but I loved La La Land, Big Little Lies was my fave series on tv, albums? Lemonade and 4:44, am a big fan of the Carter Knowles power couple & any book by Kate Atkinson.

CB: What can you see out of your closest window / what is your current view?
DM: My angel wings, they are in my garden.

CB: Other than with your family & friends, where would you most like to be this weekend and why?
DM: Berlin! I am desperate to go, the fashion scene is insane.

DM: Thank you for these fab q’s and I am so happy to have met you Judy Pink xx

Thank you so much for taking the time out for our chat Donna!

DID YOU KNOW?

90% of women wear 10% of their wardrobe, if you are one of the 90% then Sulky Doll Styling can help. Whether its discovering your signature style, up-dating your current look or you are just looking for some help with restructuring your wardrobe contact Sulky Doll Styling with your requirements. To book Sulky Doll Styling, read about the SERVICES and get in touch via her CONTACT form. 

If you don’t already, give SulkyDoll a follow on IG: @SulkyDollStyling and a LIKE on Facebook:Facebook.com/SulkyDollStylist 

#NeverConciseChats #ClaireChatsSulkyDoll

All photos credit to Donna McCulloch – Facebook.com/SulkyDollStyling
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COWSHED // FLASH SALE | Travel Countdown Calendar

We’re HUGE Cowshed fans in our house – Shoreditch House, around 10 years ago, is to blame for the addiction. We fell head over heals for the Cow Pat hand cream and its been a blissful union together since.

Our home is filled with the scent from a Knackered Cow diffuser, I can’t go to bed without my Sleepy Cow range and I have a Lippy Cow Lipbalm in every bag. (Amongst all the other bath, massage, foot and hair products that fill our bathroom shelves, of course!). I just bloody love the smell. Can’t get enough!

Anyway – I just had to share this brilliant FLASH SALE offer that I just spied on the Cowshed site. The stunning, and really handy, Travel Countdown Calendar! First off, the price is usually £65.00, but for a limited time only (and only available at Cowshedonline.com & in Cowshed Spa’s), the price during this mega flash sale is £32.50! Yep, that’s half price for this beauty. So, what’s in the box?

COWSHED // CLICK TO BUY TRAVEL COUNTDOWN CALENDAR

11 flight-friendly versions of best-loved Cowshed products, the new travel calendar has everything you need to prep for your holiday as well as when you reach your destination! Calendar includes: Cowlick Gentle Shampoo 30ml, Saucy Cow Conditioner 30ml, Gorgeous Cow Body Lotion 100ml, Cow Slip Soothing Hand Cream 50ml, Lavender Gentle Cleanser 30ml, Chamomile Refreshing Toner, Apricot Nourishing Cuticle Oil 11ml, Cow Slip Natural Antibacterial Hand Gel 50ml, Wild Cow Bath & Body Oil 30ml, Cow Pit Spray Deo 10ml, Gorgeous Cow Bath & Shower Gel 100ml

As always , Cowshed  products are Made in England using natural ingredients. The Travel Calendar makes for the perfect pre-holiday treat or as its wedding season, how about as a honeymoon gift?

As I mentioned, this flash sale is a limited time only – so I’ve added this to >THE SHOP // here < for ease of shopping!

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BRAND IN FOCUS // ZARA HOME | KIDS: AW17 “Little Adventures”

Zara HOME | Kids have just launched their AW17 campaign: Little Adventures – and it does not disappoint. There are several ranges, that can of course be mixed and matched up for a bespoke theme to you. This season Zara take inspiration from the woodland, grown up Industrial meets Scandi and traditions prints & pastels.

I particularly like the Industrial and reworked style pieces. They look so unique – definitely not something you’d imagine picking up on the high street! The Scandi themes make for a relaxed slumber, while the pastels and prints create a vintage feel.

The Kids Home range doesn’t stop at the sleeping quarters though; there are also bathroom textiles and accessories as well as a dining range.

There are some really lovely pieces to mix & match up and take inspiration from – perfect for refreshing your current Child-space, or curating a brand new room! Shop The Little Adventures range, here.

 

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BRAND IN FOCUS // TOPSHOP x Liberty Fabrics

Quintessentially British brand, Liberty, is world-renowned for its iconic prints. Recently launched, they’ve teamed up with TOPSHOP to rediscover the print archives, on modern designs.

This season, three designs from the archive decorate Topshop dresses, skirts and tops in fresh new colourways. Choose
between Elderberry, a hand-drawn berry pattern in blue, yellow and green rose, along with a scattered pansy print in pink and the familiar Capel print – a floral motif from the 1970s now in redesigned in red.

I do love a Vintage print – this Minimalism journey hasn’t stripped that from me (yet!). And these styles are so lovely and summery too. Team with a leather biker & ankle boots to finish the look.

See my favourite pieces below // all pieces from the collection are available in The Shop.

 

Topshop x Liberty // Skater Tea Dress | £59.00
Topshop x Liberty // Floral Sun Top | £34.00

 

Topshop x Liberty // Ruffle Print Dress | £59.00

shop now

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NEVER KNOWINGLY CONCISE CHATS TO // KERRIE-ANNE BRADLEY | LONDON MOTHER’S CLUB

Meet the wonderful Kerrie-Anne Bradley, co-founder of beautiful site and Chief IG-er for London Mothers Club. Kerrie-Anne is a Pilates teacher & Mama to Ivy. Like me, she’s also an avid fan of The Libertines (and perhaps, not so secretly, of Harry Styles!). With arguably the best wardrobe on IG (oh the bags and shoes she has!), Kerrie-Anne has a keen sartorial eye and lust for London life. She’s also someone I’ve had the pleasure of chatting with over IG for a long while – but sadly, we’ve never yet managed to meet up IRL! We need to sort that pet!

Here, Kerrie chats to me about her inspirations, the inevitable Mum-Guilt and her go-to fashion brands.

CB: HELLO KA! Firstly, please introduce yourself and your concept.
K-AB: Hello, I am Kerrie-Anne! Mum to a very hilarious 5 year old called Ivy, a pilates teacher and founder of London Mothers Club. I used to be an economist too but that feels like a lifetime ago now. London Mothers Club is a lifestyle edit for mamas featuring mamas we meet on our journey, places we visit and things we love. It’s mostly a bit of fun and focussed on sharing cool stuff with like-minded mamas.

CB: Where did it all begin? What inspired you to start up your concept?
K-AB: It began in my flat in Kings Cross 5 years ago. I was lonely as I didn’t have any fellow mama mates, so I set up a few events in a few different places in London to try to meet some mums who liked similar stuff to me. At the time I was really into making jewellery and so I held some crafty events in Chiswick, Clapham and Islington. I connected with the mums who came to my Clapham event most and so we moved there and LMC was born. In the old days we used to run 2-3 events per year. We rebranded as a lifestyle edit in September last year and so far, all is going well.

CB: What is your brand ethos?
K-AB: Only share positive stuff about things that we genuinely like. We trial everything before featuring it.

CB: On a day-to-day basis, what or who inspires you?
K-AB: Cliché for a Mum to say but definitely my little Ivy. She’s so full of life, clever, witty and creative. She inspires me to be a better version of me – less grumpy and anxious. God, I’m welling up writing this. Actually, that’s a good point. Ivy has brought out a softer side in me. I never used to cry and now I bawl at anything and everything!
My pilates mentor Sarah Woodhouse. She’s been in the business a long time, is one of the most intelligent people I know (along with my husband Timmy K) and she’s so passionate about what she does. I’m constantly learning from her and I am so pleased to have met her on my Pilates journey.

CB: Can you tell us about or give us a sneaky peak of something new that’s coming up?
K-AB: Because we are a lifestyle edit we are constantly reviewing cool places and things. There’s nothing major to share but definitely tune in as we are pretty good at seeking out new things that you will love!

CB: Anything you wish you’d known before you became a parent / best piece of parenting advice?
K-AB: Well my friend who doesn’t have kids told me that her mate had told her that giving birth to a placenta was worse than the birth itself. So…. When I had done the Ivy bit (and ouch) I started freaking out thinking the worst bit was to come. Of course it wasn’t true. And of course I was being ridiculously dumb in ever thinking that could be the case. Ha, sorry not strictly parenting advice but I can’t really think of any and that was the thing that popped into my head. Oops!

CB: Parenting-essentials, we know there are more than a few! But what is the one thing you can’t leave the house without? What is your most used piece of parenting/child paraphernalia?
K-AB: Wipes. Ivy constantly has stuff on her face, in her hair, on her clothes, on my clothes, in my hair, in her bum etc etc you know the drill…

CB: Along the same vein as above, what is your ultimate Mum-Essential? What is your go-to item that you just can’t live without?
K-AB: Headphones?? Ha, just kidding. My mum-essential would be paper and colours. Ivy is obsessed and it’s a sure way to get her stopping with the, ‘can we do paper, scissors, rock again mama’ everywhere we go.

CB: What gives you ‘Mum-Guilt’? And how do you get round it?
K-AB: When I get a shouty about things that are pretty small just because I’m an impatient bugger and sometimes the, ‘can we play paper, scissors, rock’ on repeat gets on my nerves…. Always solved with a big hug and a couple more rounds of the dreaded game.
On a more serious note, I also get the guilt sometimes about choosing to only have one child. Ivy is pretty independent around other kids and sometimes I worry that she prefers her own time because she doesn’t have any siblings at home (she does have three half-siblings who live in Oxford). Also, when other mums say, “aren’t you tempted to have another. It would be nice for ivy etc” that brings on the guilt. But whenever I ask Ivy if she’d like another sibling her answer is always the same, “Why would I want another brother or sister when I have some already, I have my cousin Edie and I’ve got my babies (a crew of 10 dolls).” So I think it’s alright.

CB: Me-time is super important too, what do you like to do to zone-out?
K-AB: I am not very good at zoning out tbh. I’m constantly on the move and splitting my time between my various jobs. I do love a facial and go to a fantastic girl duo at Nichola Joss. She’s a shelb fav so it makes me feel pretty important as well as relaxed haha.

CB: Which are your go-to brands/shops?
K-AB: I love &OtherStories, Wood Wood, Ganni for everyday wear, Tophop and Zara for jeans, Bella Freud for a logo jumper, Burberry for a trench, Aurore UK for Breton, Eric Bompard for cashmere, L’urv for leggings and Solid & Striped for a swimsuit. My biggest binge is on shoes and I have an epic collection of Gucci, Charlotte Olympia, Valentino, Miu Miu, Saint Laurant etc – all stuff that I can’t really afford now/ need now as I am an activewear wearing Pilates teacher.
For Ivy I love Greenberry Kids, Minouche (Australian), Caramel Baby, a new brand called Little Borne for the ultimate jogger combo, everything from Archie’s Boutique (she picks well) and Papouelli for shoes.

CB:  What current wardrobe item is your all-time favourite and why?
K-AB: A leopard-print pair of Saint Laurent booties which I wear once in a blue moon (below).

CB: Choose 3 words to describe yesterday.
K-AB: Cold, busy and long.

CB: Tell us something about you that might surprise people.
K-AB: Well I am an over-sharer on social media so people know a lot about me. I guess there are lots of funny things about me I could share but that would be a bit predictable so I will share something closer to my heart. When I was 18 my best friend died unexpectedly. She was my first soul-mate and I have missed her every day since. The wonderful thing is that little Ivy has certain aspects of Carmel’s personality and I like to tell myself that her spirit lives on through my little girl. God, I am crying again….

CB: Whats the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?
K-AB: This is a tricky one isn’t it?? To be honest I am not sure that I can pin-point a particularly moment but my husband Tim is such a kind person and always has my back.

CB: Recommend a book, film or album from the past year.
K-AB: I didn’t read it this year but I always recommend Just Kids by Patti Smith because it is a beautifully written journey of love & friendship. It gets me every time.

CB: What can you see out of your closest window / what is your current view?
K-AB: The road. I am sitting in Planet Organic, Wandsworth. I am working in here because my wifi is down again.

CB: Other than with your family & friends, where would you most like to be this weekend and why?
K-AB: In Vivamayr in Austria because it is this amazing retreat that specialises in gut health and I have loads of digestive problems.

Thank you so much for taking the time out for our chat Kerrie-Anne. It’s been so lovely getting to digitally know you over the past few years. You’re one of the most lovely and genuine people I’ve yet to actually meet – and I’m gonna give you the BIGGEST SQUEEZE ever when we finally get our diaries aligned.

If you don’t already, give London Mother’s Club a follow on IG: @LondonMothersClub, LIKE on Facebook: Facebook.com/LondonMothersClub and  sign up to the website, here: LondonMothersClub.com (especially as they have amazing content, but also lots of offers & competitions!)

#NeverConciseChats #ClaireChatsToLMC