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CVS: The Full Results.

Thursday 2nd February: The full results came back.

I had anxiously waited all week for that ‘BLOCKED’ number to call me again. It got to 4pm every day and I felt physically sick. I was shaky, dizzy and unable to concentrate at work. I was going to give it until Friday 3rd February at lunchtime, and then I was going to call UCLH to chase up the results. I couldn’t bear another weekend not knowing.

We got home from another tiring day at work, I felt withdrawn and exhausted and drained at the fact I hadn’t had that phone call, again.

There was a few pieces of post on the doormat… including one postmarked ‘London’, the address was handwritten. I just KNEW these were the results. I felt that pang of sickness and dizziness again.

We sat down together on the sofa as I struggled to open the envelope. I quickly glanced over the letter just looking for the words ‘normal’ and ‘positive’ and ‘clear’. The letter was a generic, photocopied letter.

But we saw the words we desperately wanted.

“We are writing to inform you that the results from your CVS demonstrate that your baby has a normal chromosome pattern“.

We were overjoyed! The letter was post-marked as 30th January, so the results took less than the two weeks to actually come back. Shame the hospital couldn’t call me to tell me directly – it would have saved a whole lot of agony. But still, we got the results we hoped for!

The letter also stated that we could call the FMU department to find out the sex of our baby. We we desperate to find out! So I called first thing the next day and they called back to tell me that we were having a LITTLE BABY BOY!! Absolutely ecstatic. We weren’t hoping for a boy or a girl specifically, but were beyond surprised to find out we’re having a boy! My partner is the last male on his families side, so we’ll be carrying his family name on – which is a wonderful bonus! We’re still in shock – but it’s so lovely to be able to bond with him properly now. Our little boy 🙂 Most people don’t get to find out the sex of their baby until the 20 week scan and even then, the scan isn’t 100% accurate! So we felt a little bit smug knowing that we’re having a boy, and that it 100% definitely is a boy! 😀

The next stage was an Echocardiogram (detailed Fetal heart scan) at 16 weeks – scheduled for Tuesday 14th February. Aptly, on Valentines Day.

MM.

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Christmas Party Woes!

It’s that time of year when there are LOTS of invitations to festive drinks and meals. I’ve had TWO important ‘festive drinks’ and a ‘festive meal’ with external companies through work this week… AND I’ve just got back from my office Christmas Party.

I’ve documented my previous struggles with excuses for not drinking in the below blog posts:

TTC: Excuses for not drinking!
TTC: Excuses for not drinking, PART DEUX.

It’s been a struggle again, but because of my recent trips to the hospital I have just been saying that I’m on strict orders not to drink until my “blood test results come back”. I’m pretty certain that people are not convinced – but I have had quite a lot of sympathy! 🙂

So at tonight’s office Christmas party there was the usual free-flowing booze from the onset. I’m usually the one guzzling the freebie’s and dancing the night away… but things are obviously quite different this year! Upon arrival there were ready-made cocktails, with jugs of the same cocktails ready for people who wanted a refill. I obviously couldn’t drink them so politely asked the barmaid for a ‘soft drink’. To my dismay she REFUSED and said that it was the ready made cocktails for the first hour and ‘custom drinks’ could be prepared thereafter. So I said, “I don’t wish to drink a customised drink, I’d just like a lemonade or a tonic water please?”. I actually could not understand!! To my further dismay, she pulled over her manager, who reiterated to me that there were no additional drinks until after 8pm….and that I could have a glass of water if I was “desperate”. Seriously, how rude?!! Nevermind being pregnant – I could be allergic to alcohol, or alcohol may even be against my religion! (Neither of these are true, but they don’t know that!). Has anyone else had trouble with mardy waiting staff?!

Despite being post-8pm I still struggled throughout the evening to obtain non-alcoholic drinks. The music was so loud that most bar staff thought I was asking for Vodka and Lemonade when I was simply asking for ‘JUST LEMONADE PLEASE!’. By 10pm I was absolutely exhausted and frankly, sick of the people behind the bar so left ready for home! Several colleagues did question whether I was pregnant… Most of whom were pretty much beyond drunk and wouldn’t have remembered my answer the next day anyway. But I did shrug all awkward questions off with “Maybe next year”.

Because of the amount of appointments and phone calls I’ve been making during working hours (and the CONSTANT not drinking anxiety!), I feel that the time has come to tell my boss what is really happening. I’m kind of looking forward to finally getting it off my chest – albeit, I know it’s still really early doors. I’d just hate to have people thinking I’m taking advantage…

Wish me luck!

MM.

 

 

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Pregnancy and the Flu Jab.

I received a letter last week from my doctors; offering a Free Flu vaccination. I was quite surprised I had been called for so early – but decided that receiving the jab was essential. This Winter’s Flu jab protects against the same three strains of Flu as last year’s vaccines. These include the H1N1 strain of the Flu virus. H1N1 is the same strain of Flu that caused the 2009 Swine Flu pandemic.

I had the injection on the morning of Saturday 10th December. By the afternoon my left arm was absolutely aching like hell! Then when I woke up on Sunday morning I just felt exhausted; with a really achy arm! By Sunday lunchtime, I was really flagging. I struggled to keep my eyes open – and could not make our usual Sunday roast! DP took care of the roast dinner, but I really had to force myself to eat it – for the sake of the baby growing inside me. I seriously had zero appetite. After lunch I slept all afternoon. I woke up at 10pm feeling even worse. I ached from head to toe. I felt weak and frail. I also noticed a huge red circle on my arm, where the injection had been performed.

I woke up on Monday morning at 6:45am, ready for work. Except I couldn’t lift my head off the pillow. I felt so so ill. My entire back was aching so much – especially the back of my lungs. I couldn’t even clench my fists. I had to call in sick. Only the second time in 3 years – so I think my boss understood ;o

I went back to work on Tuesday – still not feeling great. Infact, today is Wednesday and I still don’t feel 100%!

But hey ho – the side-effects from having the injection clearly out-weigh the effects of actually catching Flu in pregnancy!

For details on why you should get the Flu vaccination, see the dedicated NHS page, here: NHS.uk

MM.

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Is my body playing tricks on me? [Update #2]

Apologies for the lack of posts really. Life took over. The pregnancy symptoms dwindled…. until this week.

My new cycle was due to start on Wednesday 16th. Nothing happened. No cramping. Not a single spot of dark brown, NOTHING. Fast forward and today is Saturday 19th November. I’m 4 days late. I’m NEVER late. We did a pregnancy test on Sunday 13th and got yet another BFN. I haven’t felt particularly pregnant since then… Aside from not sleeping very well, waking up drenched in sweat, being absolutely BOILING throughout the day, I wouldn’t really say I’ve had any specific pregnancy symptoms! I’ve been REALLY hungry and felt lightheaded at times; my heart was racing yesterday. I also noted that on Wednesday 16th my boobs felt HUGE (still do) and I had really sharp, stabbing pains going from my right armpit through my breast. But that’s literally about it! So with this all in mind, we’re going to do a pregnancy test tomorrow – I’ll be 5 days late at that point.

Desperately trying not to get excited, but it’s SO DIFFICULT! I literally cannot contain my massive, beaming smile!  So will obviously report back tomorrow post test. FINGERS CROSSED! Let’s hope it’s not my body playing tricks on me, yet again!

MM.

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Is my body playing tricks on me? [Update #1]

Since my previous ‘Is my body playing tricks on me?’ post, I have more bodily confusion! I had the strange period… this lasted 6 days. I had dark, dark brown discharge. It was a very, very light flow. This was also accompanied by what I would say was ‘prune juice’, and spits and spots of pinkish blood. I had absolutely zero pain – I can’t emphasise this enough, as I’m usually in AGONY!

On Monday I awoke with a sour taste in my mouth – so I brushed my teeth straight away. I could still taste this awful bitter taste… I used mouth wash and chewed gum on the commute to work. Could not get rid of it. Then it dawned on me… this *must* but that ‘metallic taste’ that women complain of! Hurrah, I *must* be pregnant. MUST be. I ate chewing gum all day. Still had this taste. It just did not go. I woke up yesterday morning and JUST LIKE THAT, the taste had gone. It was as though I imagined it. The discharge was also gone, nothing overnight.

I did another pregnancy test this morning. Yet again, another BFN. I just don’t understand. How can I feel THIS pregnant and not actually be pregnant? My boobs are at least a cup size bigger, I also have a really dark blue vein cutting across my entire left breast, finishing at the nipple. My tummy is rounded and hard. Could it be possible that the hormones just aren’t strong enough for a cheapie HPT? Or IS MY BODY PLAYING TRICKS ON ME?!

Anyone else experienced this? It’s driving me crazy!!

MM.

 

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Is my body playing tricks on me?

So time for a quick update on how the TTC is going…

Since I was about 16, I’ve had extremely regular periods – 28 day cycle with A LOT of pain. To the point where on occasion, I have thrown up due to the tremendous amount of pain I’ve experienced. I normally battle my period pains with Feminax Ultra. My periods are generally on the heavier side, lasting 5 days. LIKE CLOCKWORK.

At the beginning of this cycle, at the start of this month, I experienced nausea, exhaustion, dizziness, (massive) clumsiness, headaches, joint aches… and oddly, stomach cramps; like period style cramps. On the 11th of the month, I had really bad wrist pain – it came out of nowhere, followed by (and I apologise for TMI) one big thick streak of mucus lined with dark brown blood. This has never ever happened before. So we did a pregnancy test on the morning of the 12th – it was a BFN. All the wild ‘pregnancy’ style symptoms subsided about a week or so ago… Period was due on 20th of the month.

On the morning of period due date I had some brown discharge when I wiped… kind of like the end of a period. Then NOTHING again until the next morning. I’m now on day 4 of my period; STILL I have the brown discharge. It’s infrequent and only really when I wipe. This is the even stranger thing though, I have absolutely ZERO pain. Nothing. No discomfort. The discharge is extremely light in flow, but very dark brown in colour.

After doing a little bit of forum research I’ve since found out that dark brown blood usually means ‘old blood’ and would circumstantially insinuate ‘implantation bleeding‘.

So I’m just going to have to see what happens! I just can’t believe I have no cramping or anything. I feel so weird – just hoping that my body isn’t playing tricks on me!!

Update to follow> Fingers crossed!

MM.