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BABY LOSS AWARENESS WEEK 2018 // BREAK THE SILENCE

BREAK THE SILENCE

Baby loss awareness week

9th – 15th October 2018

 

I write this post as tears begin to flood my eyes. Warm, salty tears rolling down my cheeks, streaking the make-up mask I wear daily to keep me feeling/looking/seeming normal. To plaster a happy face over my sad one. This very time last year I was recovering from the ERPC operation that physically ended my miscarriage.

A whole year on, mentally, it’s still very raw, it’s still very fresh, it still very much hurts. A whole year on, I’m still longing for – unashamedly needing to have my arms full with a newborn son or daughter, a brother or sister for Eli. My heart aches. When you lose a child, at any stage, you are left haunted by wonder. Wonder who they might have been. That’s what makes it so hard to move on…

It’s been such a long time since we started trying for our second child – our journey began back in March 2017. And here I am, sat at my laptop around 580 days (thats 19 months, in new money, not that I’m keeping check) later – still wishing, still hoping, still feeling huge pangs of guilt because I’m covertly jealous of women that I spot with a beautiful bump; or those with a new babe in arms. It’s easily taking up the majority of my thinking throughout my day – not to mention rudely interrupting my sleep too. Tell me I’m not the only one who dreams mosts nights about parenting a brand new bebé?!

Never would I have imagined it would be such a long, drawn out process. I’m not just talking about the physical aspect of miscarriage – because that definitely sucks and takes ages to recover from too – but the mental heartbreak.

As I’m sat typing this, many other women, couples, families are also going through it too. Around the world. As I’ve mentioned many times, 1 in 4 of us will go through it at some point. 1 in 4 of you have been there. You too know the physical pain, the emotional pain.

Miscarriage and baby loss does not discriminate, it can happen to anyone. It is not rare. So, I wanted to write a blog post dedicated to you, as today marks the beginning of Baby Loss Awareness Week 2018; which is held annually, globally, to remember those very tiny lives lost in pregnancy and soon after birth. The week will culminate with the annual Wave of Light on Monday 15th October at 7pm. See further details below.

I’m not sure how else to say it – but thank you for all the kindness shown to us over the past year. For listening and sharing.  365 days on, I’m still overwhelmed by the messages and and I’ll never forget it.

I’m an over-sharer by nature, sometimes to my own detriment, but mostly,  apart from this whole blogging process being cathartic for me, I also wanted to share because thats how we learn. We learn from others’ experiences. What I found, was that Pregnancy & Baby Loss was exceptionally un-talked about. It’s 2018 and this is still seen as taboo and very private – is that a British thing? Or is this the opinion people have worldwide? It’s crazy, don’t you think? Not to talk and share openly? To grieve and take time to do so.

In general, I am ridiculously British about things – I’m pretty naive, I’m pretty prudish. I get bashful at the mention of S-E-X. But THIS, this, I NEED to talk about. I also need you to talk out too. SO! Let’s get together to break the silence of miscarriage & baby loss during this, Baby Loss Awareness Month.

I’d like to propose that my blog serves as a platform for you to be able to share with me… and importantly, with others too. If your experience has proven too difficult to talk about openly, I am more than happy to publish stories anonymously. Whatever works for you – just PLEASE talk. Though I’m certainly not known for being concise,  yours does not have to be lengthy – just a few words from the heart to help yourself and others heal. It will definitely be a comfort and support for those reading – whilst also being therapeutic for yourself. Personally? I have found true solace in these online realms. I can’t be the only one?!

You can contact me via the comments below, FB & IG private direct messages or via email: claire[at]clairebriston.com

C
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BABY LOSS AWARENESS WEEK // EVENTS

Charities such as the below also have ways to get involved this week, in support for Baby Loss Awareness Week. Events that (are known) you can join are listed on the Baby Loss Awareness site, here.

Online events

  • 9 October 8 pm Join a webinar in the comfort of your own home: Baby Loss, Miscarriage and Stillbirth. With Dr Raj Rai – Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic, St Mary’s HospitalSign up here
  • 15 October 7 – 7:30 pm Online Wave of Light Group Meditation Further information here

Parliamentary activity & events (invitation only)

England

  • 8-12 October: Display in Upper Waiting Hall in House of Commons, Westminster, on pregnancy and baby loss and the National Bereavement Care Pathway.
  • 9 October: Debate in House of Commons
  • 11 October: Event sponsored by the All Party Parliamentary Group on Baby Loss in the House of Commons to raise awareness of baby loss with MPs, followed by a remembrance service for MPs, peers and parliamentary staff.

Scotland

  • 3 October: Event in Scottish Parliament

Wales

  • 3 October: Debate in Welsh Assembly
  • 10 October: Candle Event sponsored by Mark Drakeford AM at Main Hall, The Pierhead, Cardiff

 

IMPOSSIBLY BRILLIANT HELP & SUPPORT NETWORKS // THERE FOR YOU 24/7

TOMMY’S

1 in 4 parents will have to go through the heartbreak of losing a child during pregnancy or birth. We need your help to stop these tragic deaths. Please join Team Tommy’s and help us find answers and cures.

Losing a baby at any stage of pregnancy is a devastating experience. It is hard to believe that in this day and age, up to one in four women will lose a baby during pregnancy or birth.

Tommy’s exists to change the unacceptable statistics connected to baby loss.

Thanks to the support of our incredible community, our research has lead to a reduced stillbirth rate of 22% in Greater Manchester between 2010 and 2014 and a 23% reduction in premature births in high risk women attending our London clinic during 2014-15.

Learn more about the impact of our work here: http://bit.ly/2we9Cvk#Babyloss

DONATE >> Make a donation to Tommy’s, The Baby Charity.

THE MISCARRIAGE ASSOCIATION

Stories of good care
During Babyloss Awareness Week this year, the 40 participating charities and groups are calling for improved care following the loss of a baby during pregnancy, or during or shortly after birth.

As part of this campaign, we are asking people to share their experiences of good care they have received, perhaps from a midwife, sonographer, friend or colleague. If you would like to get involved, please email a story of less than 150 words to babyloss@sands.org.uk, copying us in on awareness@miscarriageassociation.org.uk.

You can find more details on the Babyloss Awareness Week website.

Wave of light this Monday
Last year we made a special video slideshow using hundreds of candles that lit up our Facebook page in memory of babies lost far too soon. If you’d like yours included this year, please add a note ‘For the video’ when you upload a picture.

While Baby Loss Awareness Week can be a special time of remembering and speaking about loss, we understand that it can also evoke painful memories. If you need to talk, please feel free to call our helpline on on 01924 200 799 (Monday – Friday9 a.m – 4 p.m) or see our website for other ways we offer support.

DONATE >> Make a donation to The Miscarriage Association

BABY LOSS AWARENESS

Share your experience – this could be by telling a friend about Baby Loss Awareness Week, talking about your experience or wearing a Baby Loss Awareness pin badge. You could also use our specially designed social media images on your website, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, work intranet or noticeboard.

DONATE >> Make a donation to Babyloss Awareness.

SANDS – STILLBIRTH AND NEONATAL DEATH CHARITY

Sands is the stillbirth and neonatal death charity. We operate throughout the UK, supporting anyone affected by the death of a baby, working to improve the care bereaved parents receive, and promoting research to reduce the loss of babies’ lives.

Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal death charity, was founded in 1978 by a small group of bereaved parents who were devastated by the death of their babies, and by the total lack of acknowledgement and understanding of the significance and impact of their loss.

DONATE >> Make a donation to SANDS.

THE LULLABY TRUST

The Lullaby Trust provides emotional support for bereaved families, promotes expert advice on safer baby sleep and raises awareness of sudden infant death.

Working with the NHS, we run a national health-visitor led service for bereaved parents, Care of Next Infant (CONI) programme, which supports families before and after the birth of their new baby.

We are committed to supporting research to understand why so many babies a year die suddenly and unexpectedly in the UK and to find out more about how to prevent these tragic deaths.

The Lullaby Trust operates nationwide across England, Wales and Northern Ireland. We run an information line for parents and professionals (0808 802 6869) and a dedicated line for bereaved families (0808 802 6868). Both are free to call from landlines and mobiles.

We campaign tirelessly, lobbying government to keep sudden infant death on the public health agenda. Since we formed as The Foundation for the Study of Sudden Infant Deaths (FSID) in 1971 we have been pivotal in reducing sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) by over 80%.

DONATE >> Make a donation to The Lullaby Trust

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Eating Out | GLASS, Berlin.

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WHEREGLASS, 10623 Berlin.

DATE: 23.10.2015

TIME: 7:30pm.

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We took the train to Zoologischer Garten and strolled along the chilly, but short, route to GLASS. Filled with the anticipation of a magical evening, celebrating Mr Memoirs’ 30th birthday, we actually passed GLASS! We backtracked and found the restaurant tucked away between building’s.

First impressions were great – we received a very warm welcome and an abundance of smiles. Good start. We were asked to choose where we would like to sit, we decided on a lovely table in the corner, by the window. We were immediately provided with the menu… hidden inside an envelope. Having previously had correspondance with the Host, Juliana, I had decided to keep the new menu a surprise! I had read several incredible reviews of Glass and of the Head Chef, Gal Ben Moche, so had high expectations – and I was not disappointed!

The tasting menu is available with 5 courses (€75 each) or with 7 courses (€95 each). We opted for 5 courses, as well as the wine pairing (€45 each).

The five courses I chose were:

ONION SOUP // GRUYÈRE / BRIOCHE

FOIE GRAS // PONZU / DUCK CONFIT (+ 10 €)

MINESTRONE // SCALLOPS / BEANS / ZUCCHINI

JERUSALEM // POULET DE BRESSE / CAULIFLOWER

CANDY BOX – Dessert – which has to be shared + 20 €

However, we were advised that we’d receive a surprise treat or two before our first course. I don’t think we could have been more shocked and in awe of the ‘treats’s. I, still today, a week on, cannot stop thinking about the first dish we received.

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Dehydrated soya milk with a miso sauce. Actually just the most incredible thing! I could have eaten a bowl full of this.

This was quickly followed by:

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Another sharing treat, the hot-cheese filled crackers to the bottom corners were my favourite! There was also sardine topped falafel and dehydrated egg’s and bacon.

We were then served another ‘breakfast’ style dish:

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This one was a sweet treat – with egg yolk just cooking to the bottom.

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“Taste on a spoon”. One of my favourite mouthful’s of the evening. Ravioli, filled with Oxtail broth, topped with oxtail, greens and parmesan. INSANE. This spoonful was just stunning. The ravioli popped open in your mouth, releasing warm liquor. I have never tasted anything like it.

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Next were served a homemade pretzel bun each, along with 2 slates of butter that were out of this world! One of the butter’s were made with olive oil – using olive’s from the vineyard where one of our wine’s were produced – the other was topped with volcanic salt.

We were then served the first dish we had picked from the 5-course tasting menu.

Mr Memoirs loves anything smoked and earthy, so ‘Forest in a glass’ with its mushrooms and vapour meant he was in his element!

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The waiter was incredible at describing each individual dish – and really set the scene with the Forest in a glass dish. Mr Memoirs remarked that it did indeed feel like he was walking into the depths of a forest, taking in the different scents of the forest floor. The smokiness lingered too – very clever.

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Onion Soup with Gruyere and Brioche. The dish was served with the onion consommé being poured at the table by the waiter, who explained all the fine details to the bottom of the bowl. A warming and tasty dish that left me cleaning the bowl with my leftover pretzel!

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Foie Gras with Ponzu and Duck Confit. There was a surcharge of an additional €10 on this dish, and it was so worth it! The Foie Gras was the best I’ve ever tasted and the duck confit ‘dumpling’ was divine. I could have definitely done with a gravy boat of the sauce however! It was just superb.

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“Minestrone” with Scallops, Beans and Zucchini. The waiter gave us a cheeky smile as he placed these dishes onto the table and declared, “This dish is a lie, it’s not really Minestrone! This dish is made using a lobster bisque…”. I’m not a fish easter, at all, so I was quite apprehensive about this dish to say the very least. But my goodness, it has completely changed my mind! The bisque was filled with bags of flavour, as was the pasta, beans and courgette. I also ate the majority of my scallop! Which is a huge achievement for me – and of course, a huge compliment for Glass. The scallop was so delicate and tasty, I couldn’t help but go back for more.

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Following this, we received another ‘treat’ – a Horseradish Sorbet. Never experienced anything like it. Just incredibly powerful and cooling, all at the same time.

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And now time for the ‘main’ – Jerusalem. Now, I am a person who would not order chicken on a restaurant menu. Chicken is a staple in our house, it makes for a quick and easy dinner for us all; or is reserved for Sunday lunch. Not special enough to order from a restaurant, in my opinion… That was my opinion until I tasted Poulet De Bresse, the most sought after chicken, all the way from France. I can’t even put into words how surprising this dish was – I didn’t want it to end. The chicken was like nothing you’ve ever tasted before, really very special indeed. The cauliflower details were so tasty, as were the peas and grains. Stunning.

…and then came the pièce de résistance. The Candy Box. Presented table-side, by head chef, Gal Ben Moshe. 

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The Candy Box is a magical display of childhood tastes. Obviously, liquid nitrogen is always a bonus too! This was the most memorable and fun dessert we’ve ever had. Gal presented our version of The Candy Box with “H B 2 U”, in celebration of Mr Memoirs’ 30th birthday. Very thoughtful.

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Also, shout out to Juliana who added a birthday candle to the proceedings!

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We chatted to Gal after we’d finished the meal and congratulated him on such a wonderful and unique dining experience. It’s going to be very difficult to top the evening we shared with GLASS. We will definitely be heading back to GLASS when the menu changes – which we imagine to be Spring as Gal tends to use seasonal ingredients. There is also a Vegetarian menu available; offering both the 5 or 7 course tasting menu.

I cannot rate GLASS highly enough – from the staff to the food, everything was just stunning. A relaxed atmosphere with the most unusual dishes. Simply a must whilst in Berlin! (And get a reservation in soon, I can see this restaurant gaining it’s first Michelin star very soon – it is already featured in the Michelin guide – so tables will be at a premium!).

Thank you GLASS.

MM.

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Restaurant GLASS
Uhlandstraße 195
10623 Berlin
Phone: 030-54710861
Email: reservierung@glassberlin.de
Website: glassberlin.de
Opening times:
Tuesday to Saturday from 18:00 to 23:00 clock