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TODAY // 15th March 2019

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Today is 15th March. The due date given for our second pregnancy✨
Today could have/would have/should have (???) been a first birthday for a little one we will never hold. A little one we will never meet. A little one who gave us hope and dreams.

Having had such wonderful news at the 20 week scan of our third pregnancy on Tuesday; it’s safe to say this week I have been on a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions. Pregnancy after loss is such a tricky and confusing and emotional time to try and navigate your way through. Happiness and sadness. Guilt? It’s a weird one. But I’m allowing myself to feel all of the feelings.

I know a few of my friends IRL and on here are going through a tough time this week. So this page from @rupikaur_’s “Milk and Honey” is for you too. Do not resist giving yourself space and time to think – to grieve – to feel anger, hurt, pain and happiness too.

If you can’t see the image above, the verse reads:

it is part of the

human experience to feel pain

do not be afraid

open yourself to it

– evolving

 

I’m allowing myself to remember today. But also to breathe the relief in that I have a beautiful, healthy 🌈 baby, wriggling inside me right now. And I’ve never felt more lucky 🌿

✖️✖️✖️